The Power That Rules my Fate…

Darkness or light? That is the choice, always. What we choose will be dependent on our attitude, our programming, our upbringing. There is always an opportunity for healing, wherever we shine our light. Sure, we will be hounded by the Darkside until we face it head on. That is our work. That is the only mission that really counts.

This Incantation is from The Eagles Gift, by Carlos Castaneda

“I am already given to the power that rules my fate,
and I cling to nothing, so I will have nothing to defend.
I have no thoughts, so I will see.
I fear nothing, so I will remember myself.
Detached and at ease, I will dart past the Eagle
to be free.”

You may need this when you embark upon your descent into the underworld!

May The Force Be With You….Always!

Got A Bad Mood?

I have to credit Carl Gustav Jung with the original quote which was as follows.

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”

I read it in a book and it stuck but I’ve paraphrased it because it is so spot on. How many times in daily life do we reach for the outside option to make ourselves feel better?

Anyway, please check out my video above and perhaps see you around a little.

Thanks for your visit.

Phoebe

🙂

Header photo artwork by:

ADAM WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY

To see my art:

PHOEBE THOMASSON ARTWORKS

Jaguar Medicine: Power to Confront Death…

“In the darkness we may fear all manner of things that in the light of day are really nothing…”

Journal entry

Jaguar In The Woods

It is time to die
Time to release that which no longer serves me
My spirit is crying out for restoration
So I go into the woods in search of Jaguar…

I wield the sacred power of courage, held in my heart;
remembered through my tools;
The rattle, the paint brush, my voice, my dancing…

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Courage takes me to my fear, face to face now we dance
I come down from my tree, stalking my terror, my prey
harnessing the medicine of life and death I say,

‘Give Me Back My Self!’

Jaguar flows through me now
with the grace of an assassin
fear yields to the touch of the brush on my face
warpaint on; I am hunting
I snake through the densely packed forest of my mind.

Snaring my fear I make the final blow
severing it’s life blood with my jaws
clenched in the bloody death of that which will now feed me.

As I die to my fearful self
power surges forward
for an instant I am transported
into lives past, unlived by me
the clench envelopes me now
curious in its transport
I let it go
as I let go to feel
myself
pure
being.

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I surrender once again
to the flow of moments
called life
moving now from within my limbs
spirit urges me, and
messages from silent voices
follow me
the ancients?
I stand erect
fearless again
and take upon me
that which is truly mine…

The power of Great Spirit…
Jaguar is home.

P.Thomasson
Dorset Oct 16th 2016

 

Photography by

ADAM

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Help I’m Broken! Where’s My Band Aid?

I’m in creative surgery with myself right now…let me explain;
It’s been a tough week with one thing and another, you know how it is….you are on a high getting things done, enjoying company, organizing stuff, moving furniture, and mountains….y’know, the normal spring day when you feel like you could eat the hind leg off a donkey because it’s spring and you can’t get enough of anything….yeah, that kind of day. Well….
And then you come tumbling down of your mountain high…after you’ve just moved the damn thing, and your all torn up at the bottom, ripped to shreds by the fall and exhausted by the climb.
Also, there’s a boulder on your head the size of Colorado and you have only one finger left and you are pointing it at your nearest loved one because obviously they are the source of all your agony. Right?
You know the kind of day I mean?
It takes a while to manifest this kind of day. Weeks of preparation and a slow erosion of the carefully crafted diet, the creeping sleep deprivation and the feeding of the over-excitement devil with sugar laden commercial chocolate and stupid food like bread….yum.
No! BAD! very bad….oh and the beating…you gotta get a good beating or two….
Sigh.
Back to the painting then. And the walking. And the Primal diet and the early nights, and the expressing your feelings as they come up instead of putting them all into a bottle and chucking them overboard.
I’ll start with the early night I think.
We all got to start somewhere!

Stupid

When we are judged as stupid
It is because we are feared,
hated or reviled and thereby
found to be threatening.

Perhaps for our ebullience (yes, and)
I think probably for our
ability to be happy and carefree (too).
Most definitely for out
child-like demeanour
our innocent joy
our creative boldness.

What seems like such a beautiful thing
can be tarnished by the very one’s
who purport to love us.

So don’t fear the label
Embrace it, as any judgement
As a rite of passage;
We know, we have touched someone
deeper than they themselves can go
for that reason
Have compassion
for the haters
The mud slinger’s
and the name callers
The labellers and
The righteous Judges
for they are far
from home.

P. Thomasson
30th March 2016

This poem was sparked by the question “But I feel so good; so why do I think I’m stupid?”
Upon analysis, feeling good always brings with it, this judgement of being stupid. But who gave it me? That was the deeper more intriguing question.

I still feel stupid, but I won’t take it so personally.

 

On Paying Attention…The Secret Sauce to ShapeShifting into What You Want To Be…

Making art is only one of the many tools used by a meta-morph in the process of self-transformation.

Anything is up for grabs. Dancing, writing, walking, gym, cooking, making love….whatever!

It’s the attitude we adopt when using our tool that matters.

Many of us approach our self development practices in the same way we might hammer a nail in a wall when we’re in a hurry; quickly, mindlessly and inefficiently. We then wonder why we hit our fingers, the nail bends in the wall and the plaster falls out. Been there? I have. Lots.

Here are some questions we should be asking ourselves…

Have we really prepared by choosing the right nail for the wall in question? (are you really fit enough for that particular form of exercise? do you really like writing about that subject? are you wearing the right shoes for the walk?)

Have we taken enough time to pay attention to our hammering technique? (are you feeling the nuances of the sexual plateaus or just going in for the big ‘O’?, are you overdoing the prawns? is that the right level of tension in your shoulders for a shimmy?)

If the answer is no, then we will not get the desired result! Period. Unless we are lucky. But we are not always lucky are we!

We must keep refining, keep adapting and keep asking relevant questions. This is what leads us into our own metamorphosis. This is what causes us to Shape-shift into something we want to be.

So paying attention, being aware and practicing mindfulness are the attitudes that act as the antidotes to bruised fingers and rubbery prawns. Right?

Mindful creation, mindful exercise, mindful speech, mindful thought will get us where we want to be in life. No short cuts. Just paying attention to everything we do.

Working anything mindfully then will take us where we want to go.

Mindful of what? That’s the question isn’t it!? I can answer that…

FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, ACTIONS!

Answer now. What are you feeling? What are you thinking? What are you doing?

Keep on checking in until you have a seamless stream of attention directed to your present moment. Sounds simple. It’s not. It takes practice. You can start, right now.

But be mindful of the fact…you will forget to be mindful until you make it a habit.

And that my friends is what practice is all about.

Let the feelings you are feeling right now, tell you what is next, and how to proceed.

For more on mindful approaches to life visit here

To see my art go to ptartworks.com

 

a woman sits surrounded by words with buddha next to her

Word Soup

It appears an unfortunate fact that the more I fly free in my ways, and embrace my powers of intellect and conversation, that the effect produced within you is one of insecurity and an appearance of being squashed. Hence the ability to relax and enjoy company whilst feeling thus threatened is marred and overshadowed by ones habitual response in blaming the other for being not desirable In ones behaviour. In you I perceive a disapproval that is brought forth by your struggles to stay connected to a flowing river of words that spew forth from my mouth, which has upon me the effect to feel further in the wrong way of things and defensive of my position as free woman enjoying my respect given freely by friends, but not by you, although you would argue otherwise because though the effects of my [not at you] focus are to feel like a [dis-empowerment], you are at once stuck in your own conundrum whether and how to extract yourself from said feeling of diminished comfort and confidence into a blame that would be inappropriate given the very nature of blame which is to shut down the other with a label of wrongness attached. I know you do not seek to fetter me but there must be some compensation for you in a night’s accommodation of friends whom you must also enjoy the company of so it comes to that which I can only say that I shamelessly dominated the said conversation [the night] and you being of more altruistic nature let me take centre stage with little regard for your own well-being. In this I can only fault you for your lack of confidence against my domination and say that without your countering me I will most willingly hold court without recourse to your opinion in any matter should you choose to allow me without interruption or battle for place. Or feel confident in my love for you which you plainly do not, in the absence of affection which you cannot.

Or I could just shut the fuck up and listen to YOU!

Have You Met The Barefoot Doctor? You Should!

Barefoot Doctor MMMMM

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A long time ago and far away – around 658BC in Hunan Province to be precise – The Duke of Wen went to see Lao Tsu, purported great grandaddy of the Taoist way, and said, “Lao, your reputation for supreme wisdom goes before you and I have traveled far to seek your advice. I have conquered much territory and have established peace in the lands I rule. But inner peace eludes me. I have meditated. I have done Tai Chi but still it eludes me. What is the secret?” ……..read more

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sleeping baby sleep disorder correction and healing article link by phoebe thomasson

How to Sleep Better; Yes! Much Better!

I became interested in my sleep patterns and how to correct them during my recovery from ME/CFS.

I figured that better sleep was key to my recovery.

Being an insomniac, sometimes painting into the night and waking up at stupid times of the morning I had programmed myself for failure.

The essay below is the theory behind the practices which are provided at the end in PDF form for you to print and takeaway.

Today I enjoy a wonderful sleep and have a real evening, with time for myself and my partner to catch up, and whatever!

I no longer work into the wee small hours and therefore my life feels more structured and light, as opposed to chaotic and dark!

a dark and brooding face appears patterned with dull colour third eye is very active model phoebe thomasson photo art by adam white photography dorset uk 2015

Here it is again….Low Pressure: A Poem “Black Dog and The Widow”

This pain, not physical so no one can see
it’s why I wear a glum face for lunch
depression my guest today
welcome in I say
I feel I have no choice
but to let her in and have her way
the black dog
comes and throws up
over the carpet
barking at me the details
of how sad my life is
no recourse to the facts
are they the real reality anyway?
I cannot tell
the black dog is large
and taking up all my attention
I am angry but feel powerless
drained of vitality
it only took thirty minutes to arrive
destination overcast
when outside the sun beats
spring cool breeze coiling
I should feel happy
shouldn’t I?
the black dog looks up
her owner I spy in the corner
she’s dressed in black
perennial widow of the world
she’s the voice and persona
of scornful mourning
beyond reasoning
she laughs and agrees
yes your world is so sad
so sad you shall be.
 
No! I think
I run to the computer
my thoughts ordered by print
it’s logic that I need
she leaves sashaying
whistle between teeth
black dog follows
leaving a small pile of hair
on the sofa.
 
Gone, for now
she’ll be back
with black
am I prepared?

P. Thomasson
11th April 2015