Today is one of those days. Today I feel bereft of an anchor or a purpose. I check my phone. Ah, the moon is nearly dark. The dark moon is always a confusing one for me; so used as I am, to being ‘filled up’ with things. I don’t feel panicked about it. Not this time anyway. So what’s changed? I can sense the emptiness coming with the approaching moon differently today. I feel somehow safe in its presence as if it were a benevolent friend sitting with me. It tells me not to worry and sitting in the feeling of emptiness I am aware of this befriending process. This is a new one, yet there is nothing new here at all! My mind is looking for a latch, or a hook upon which to hang this day, but the hook and the door indeed, have all but gone! Gone where? No-where. Emptiness is like that. Nothing has disappeared, yet its mere appearance is no longer manifesting before me. Confused? Don’t be.
It is no more confusing than a dew drop evaporating from the petal of a flower
Gone back to its source from whence it came, merely changing form, not essence
So what do I do in this state of being?…or no being? I really don’t know who I am or what I am doing in that potentially aimless day-to-day kind of way that could manifest into a depression or even simple malaise. So what gives?
Here is what my Buddha tells me:
Accept whatever feelings or states arrive to the best of your ability and allow the shifting of your mind to be in a positive direction. Be mindful of your emotions and mental winds and do not allow your state to sink. All is well. Trust. This is the time of clearing. Everything must evaporate into its native state before it can rebuild itself afresh. The process is indeed instigated by the passage of the moon in her phases and affects the very water molecules of your physical being. You could call this a body mood. It is beyond your control so do not try to save yourself from it! There is nothing to save! You are pure Buddha nature; at one with the light. Pure vibration. The release of who you think you are should feel refreshing to you and yet you spend so much time fearing this ‘no-self’. This too is part of the process of awakening. Awakening to your true nature is like a butterfly waking up and thinking it is still a caterpillar. The cocoon is gone. Your wings are fully formed. It’s time to learn to fly. This IS your purpose! Flight and the feelings of being alive. It is so simple and this is why you resist. You are addicted to complication. Let it go. It will be safe when you do. Peace.
That’s nice to know.
Thanks Inner Buddha Nature.
I am what I am. Simple!
What I do is what I feel like has meaning for me or is necessary for survival. This is the simplicity that brings mental peace and joy. Looking for more meaning than this at this point in time is clearly insane!
Today I wish for myself and for you, the grace to accept where we are and where we are not, and the release of our limited self-identity.
Photo Credit Kelly Boesch